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El Vidioclú

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::: Auchamp 3: The Return :::

escuchando ::: Death in Vegas ::: Come to Mine

El hecho de vivir en una zona residencial del extrarradio tiene entre otras, la ventaja de escapar del mundanal ruido, pero esa ventaja se vuelve totalmente en contra por las noches, cuando sales al balcon y te das cuenta de que apenas hay coches en la acera, apenas hay luz en la calle y apenas hay gente a partir de las diez de la noche.  Si a eso le sumas el hecho de volver andando solo a casa, a altas horas de la madrugada, desde el recinto ferial en plenas fiestas patronales, pues el tema se vuelve muy preocupante.

Eso mismo debia estar pensando la chavalilla que con los brazos cruzados se agazapaba detras de las farolas al ver una Nissan Vanette to abollada aparcada en la acera con dos tipos en su interior discutiendo acaloradamente, así que pasito a pasito la chica se iba acercando a la furgoneta de mi padre.

El salto que pegó inmediatamente despues podria haberse llevado alguna medalla en Pekin.  Y es que claro, si al acercarte a un vehiculo ves que de buenas a primeras se abre el porton y una figura de no muy buen aspecto salta del asiento y se abalanza sobre ti con la pose de saludo del gañán, el grito que pegas es escuchable en kilometros a la redonda.  Es que vemos demasiadas peliculas creo yo.

Lo unico que yo queria era preguntarle donde carajo estaba el dichoso Alcampo pero la pobre, entre sollozos y cubriendose la cabeza, con todo el susto metido en el cuerpo, solo alcanzaba a balbucear un timido –no se no se no se!!— y en cuanto vio un hueco salio disparada como un diablo, con tacones y todo, y alli me dejo, estupefacto y sin saber donde ir.

Al final, despues de rodearnos toda la urbanizacion dimos con el dichoso centro comercial, que brillaba en medio de la nada.  Y en medio de aquel medio un grupito de personas esperaba pacientemente cerca del unico coche de todo el parking, mi forito.  Cuando nos vieron llegar soltaron algunos improperios y sin mas dilacion el señor pulisia me puso en la cara el parte para rellenar.

Todo apuntaba a que el coche se lo habia llevado el mismo ser que solia calzarse los foritos en otros centros, asi que ya se habian encargado de tomar todas las huellas y tareas detectivescas del caso.  No habian hecho puente alguno por lo que el arranque estaba inmaculado e incluso habian abierto el maletero sin forzarlo y esparcido por el todo el contenido del mismo, que en aquella epoca consistia basicamente en una bateria de repuesto y una caja de herramientas, que por supuesto habia desaparecido.

Lo mas gracioso del tema era que ya por aquella epoca yo no notaba la inflacion, es decir, que ya por entonces le echaba mil duros de gasolina al coche, igual que ahora, y justo ese viernes, tras una semana de asistencia a la facultad, los atascos, y que el jodio forfiesta consumia mas combustible que una central nuclear, el deposito estaria en las ultimas.  Pero cual fue mi sorpresa cuando al poner en marcha el carro, la aguja del combustible marcaba casi medio deposito.

Increible… tan poco carburante tenia que sin duda, el ladron tuvo que pararse a mitad de camino a echar gasofa, y vaya que la echo, como que pude volver tranquilamente a mi casa con la garrafa sin tocar en el maletero y me duro para el resto de la semana.

Espero que el menda saliese escarmentado de aquel robo, que aunque facil, le costo pasta, yo acabe agradeciendoselo.

Aun guardo gratos recuerdos de aquel forito color cacafu… sobre todo antes de que un camion de reparto de butano volcara toda la carga de bombonas sobre el…

… pero esa es otra historia…

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